That sinking feeling you get when something goes wrong with publication. 

When I was ready to release the first book of my latest series I went straight to what I knew. I'd used the same cover designer for the three books in my previous series and I liked his style. So I used him for book one of the Archaic Races and all was good.

Then came the bad news.

Book two is ready to go but my designer pulled out for personal reasons. Now I have a series that already has certain stylistics and nobody to continue them. I'm in a panic and unsure what to do. It's not just that book covers are expensive, I want them to be right. They need to reflect what's in the book. We all know you're not supposed to judge a book by it's cover but it's something we all do. It's what attracts us to them on visual inspection and, I admit, even I do it sometimes.

But there was light at the end of the tunnel. After much shopping around I've discovered a wonderful cover designer for my current series. She's already redesigned the cover for book one, which will be released in the next week with book two to follow. 

Phew.

Part of being a writer is feeling like a failure at least five times a week. I don’t think it matters if you’re a successful writer or not. Your work is out there, in the public domain, being judged. I’m not sure readers realise how much of themselves a writer puts into their work, but it’s akin to having a small part of your soul on display. You’re offering up the deepest parts of yourself, and they can feel exposed and raw.

Writers have to develop a thick skin just to survive the battering of reviews. They can’t write something to every reader’s liking, and sometimes the reviews can be mean. Gone are the days of ‘If you can’t say something nice then don’t say it at all’. There are a billion trolls out there that don’t care if they shatter a person’s confidence with degrading words and mean-spirited comments.

So why keep writing if there’s the risk of getting hurt? It’s the nature of the beast. I don’t write because it’s a passing fancy. I write because I must. I write because it’s an incendiary need that eats away at my insides. I write for the fear of exploding should I not let the stories out. I write for the readers who pester me to write faster. I write for that feeling I get as a reader, when I finish a good book, and pray that someone out there feels that way about something I’ve written.

I write because I love it.